“Every day she kept nagging at him and pressing at him, till it bothered him to death, so that he finally told her everything. He said to her, ‘”No razor has ever touched my head, because I have been a nazir of God since I was born. If someone shaves me, then my strength will leave me; and I will be like any other man.” (Judges 16:16-17, CJB)
We all know how this story ends. As Sampson puts his head in the lap of Delilah, the enemy, once again he was betrayed by her. The result was a no brainer, that she betrayed him and Samson lost his strength and was seized by the Philistines. They paid off Delilah a bountiful reward and gouged out Sampson’s eyes as they took him in chains, putting him to work grinding grain in the prison mill. (Judges 16:20-22)
We all ask ourselves, wouldn’t you think Sampson would learn? Over and over, he was betrayed, yet he still moved towards his betrayers as if he was invincible. He kept putting his head in the lap of the enemy and the result was obvious betrayal. I see this kind of thing often with people who struggle with a drug addiction. I saw this in my own life when I was young and struggled with this.
One becomes lured in some way towards drugs, then there is the hook. Then they are sold a bill of lies over and over that the way out is within the same dysfunctional way they are living but achieving some sort of success in it. There is all this illusion that they have around their life and the life of those they party with.
As they are fed with their addictions, they begin to diminish. And in diminishing, they have more need so they crave to feed the addiction more. Every area of their life gets touched by the addiction and they began to lose more and more in the process. This leads them to want to use more drugs to escape and not cope with reality. Using more drugs just feeds them more of an illusion until the ultimate result of them hitting rock bottom where they either change or sometimes lose their lives.
Where this all started for Sampson was back in Judges 14 where he saw a Philistine woman he was attracted to and commanded his mother and father to get him her as a wife. While they argued with him about it, ultimately, they gave in to his demanding. They let him have his way even though it was not good for him.
We know Sampson’s folks cared deeply for him and were also godly parents. They were thrilled when the angel told them that they would be having a nazir child from birth that would begin to rescue Israel from the power of the Philistines. They carefully followed the instructions on carrying him and how to raise him (Judges 13:4-5).
Whether they thought Sampson must know what is best for himself or they were afraid to challenge Sampson and damage the relationship, or were just weary and worn down with his insistent demanding, letting him get his way was a mistake on his parents’ part. They let him have his way when it was not good for him.
I saw this happen with a relative of mine. Their first child started down some paths that were not good for him and they let him have his way. Not that they didn’t love him but just didn’t know what they were letting in his life. When he turned sixteen and started to get in with the wrong crowd, they complained but then opened themselves up to it. They let him have parties at their house with these friends—thinking it was better than having him out somewhere else. They let him have girls sleep over in his bedroom- thinking it was better than having him go out with many girls. Not at all that it was their fault, but, a warning to myself in raising boys, if you let them put their head in the lap of the enemy, not surprisingly, they most likely will become infused with lies.
Proverbs 10:10 says, “People who wink at a wrong cause trouble, but a bold reproof promotes peace.”
We don’t know if setting better boundaries would have changed anything. But, as he began using, he began diminishing. Then as he was diminishing, he craved more and more of the illusion he was living in. He wanted more “cool” friends to gain popularity to fill the growing hole in his heart for something of substance. They tried to put on the breaks to the using friends, but he, like Sampson, just ran headway down the wrong path. He was unwilling to listen or to turn back.
Proverbs 10:17 says, “People who accept discipline are on the pathway to life but those who ignore correction will go astray.”
He kept putting his head in the lap of the enemy and expecting different results. The more he did this, the more his life spun in the wrong direction, the more he craved and the more lost he became. How heart breaking this was to his folks. Then one day, they found him in his bedroom with blue lips and not breathing. His folks were devastated and afraid for losing him all together. They were beside themselves and didn’t know what to do. It was heart wrenching and devastating. Fortunately, paramedics came in time and he went off to drug treatment to get healing and recovery (but not without permanent damage from the use). Like me when I was young and using, he needed the structure to plant his feet in a different direction.
Not to say that addiction is not hereditary, and often rooted in generational sin, but in many cases, it starts with someone putting their head in the lap of the enemy. They are listening to the wrong voices and trusting in the wrong people who do not care for them. All this to say that, as a mom, it is good to remind myself that it is worth the fight when they are young to get their feet planted in the right path as much as humanly possible.
Yet, even in all Sampson’s foolish mistakes, God had a purpose and plan for his life that was good. God saw him and had planned for his life before he was born. Rather than fully taking this up and living his life for his called-out purposes, he lived between craving and revenge while longing for more. While he killed many Philistines, it never said that his life had much positive influence on his community or genuinely made an impactful difference other than the example it gives us of how not to do life.
Proverbs 11:7 says, “When the wicked die, their hopes die with them, for they rely on their own feeble strength.”
After he was gone, it says that “At that time there was no king in Israel; a man simply did whatever he thought was right.” (Judges 17:6) People lived out of their head in ways that they deemed right for themselves to live. Then there is all this religious practice activity that lacks any genuine heart for God. And at the end of the book of Judges before the coming of Samuel, the last of the Judges, it notes again, “At that time there was no king is Israel; a man simply did whatever he thought was right.” (Judges 21:25)
Imagine if he had made choices, how his impact could have been different. Perhaps, like other judges who followed God and fulfilled their calling intentionally, people would have turned back to the Lord and experienced blessing in the land.
An opposite story from Sampson of sorts is the one of Ruth. As the land was in severe famine during the days of judges as a result of sin and people doing what they thought was right in their own eyes, Naomi, her husband, and her two boys went to live in Moab. Naomi, a widow at the time, married off her two boys to Moabite woman. After about ten years, her boys died unexpectedly, leaving these women as widows.
As Naomi set out to return home, Ruth refused to leave her. She hitched her wagon to Naomi and refused to walk away. She tells her, “Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. Wherever you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us!” (Ruth 1:16-17)
Ruth did not end up with a glamorous life as a result. She did not have a young husband or start out with riches as a result. She had very little and worked hard to be responsible for both her and her mother-in-law. But what she had done, was to lay her head in the lap of wisdom. Proverbs says that as we walk with the wise, we will become wise. Naomi, who was a wise woman, often referred to as a symbol of the Holy Spirit, directed her path to rich fruitfulness.
It says in Proverbs 10:23-24 that living wisely brings pleasure to the sensible and that the hopes of the godly will be granted.
Boaz noticed Ruth, gave her grain and spoke this to her about leaving her land to follow Naomi: “May the Lord, under whose wings you have come to take refuge, reward you fully for what you have done.” (Ruth 2:12). Ruth was making wise choices that were resulting in her flourishing despite her circumstances.
In Proverbs 11:6,8 that the godliness of good people rescues them and that the godly are rescued from trouble.
Ultimately, by following wisdom and respecting her mother-in-law’s advice rather than running after craving, popularity and significance, she ended up having a tremendously significant life. She had no special gifts or anointings like Samuel, but she made such wise choices that her story is told for years on, not as a warning like Sampson, but as an inspiration.
It says in Proverbs 11:18,23, 28 that the godly can look forward to a reward, the reward of the godly is lasting and the godly flourish like leaves in spring.
While Sampson gave his parents great heart ache and loss, Ruth gave her mother-in-law great joy and comfort in her losses. And while Sampson was childless and left no lasting personal legacy, Ruth is mentioned in the lineage of Jesus.
“Teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom” sings in the background.
Lord, do teach us to number our days and choose wisdom. Help us to see clearly where our choices, or our children’s choices, lack and are going down a wrong path. Set us and our families on a path that leads to fruitfulness and godliness. My heart especially goes out to those who are suffering due to someone in their family making unwise and destructive choices for themselves related to addiction. Surround them in Your love and help them plant their feet in a fruitful direction for their lives.
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